Pornography addiction
There are many websites about giving advice on how to stop masturbating and stop watching porn. The former and the latter are almost always intertwined, but there is a huge difference between feeling bad about a thing and being addicted to it.
The stance of science on the subject is unclear. You’ll find websites going at length about the harmful effects of pornography on the brain, how it wrecks the endorphin reward system, how it can shrink a part of the brain and so on and so forth. Now, I’m not saying the people claiming so are wrong, but, almost all these claims come from the same handful of studies that:
Haven’t been peer-reviewed.
Have been posted in obscure science journals with questionable methods.
Sometimes have animals as subjects and the results can’t be extrapolated to humans.
And while there are many, many claims which makes it look like an issue that has been worked on quite a bit, many if not all cycle back to these same studies.
There's been authors using the above-mentioned shaky studies as absolute proof of every single claim and extrapolations they make, of which there are many. At no point do they mention that the studies need to be peer-reviewed, that the subject needs more work to be certain about a lot of aspects, or that they straight up got shot down by actual experts. Nor do they mention their lack of credentials. Some of these authors wrote books and made talks in public, earned a lot of money from selling a theory which questions the objectivity of it. And once again, their findings are flimsy at best, they barely have the background to talk about it, and they forget to mention how neuroscientists pointed out they don’t get basic brain anatomy right.
Now, I don’t doubt they saw pornography as harmful; they are not the only ones and it’s their prerogative.
However, justifying their views by passing shaky studies as medical and scientific proofs is several levels of intellectual dishonesty I cannot condone. Same goes for the purported benefits of quitting porn, which can appear downright magical if you believe what you read on the internet. Science – the lack of it – aside, these benefits make a lot of sense from a placebo perspective. The more you’ll hate yourself when you masturbate, the happier you’ll be when you stop and the bigger benefits you’ll feel.
Take everything you read on the subject which a massive pinch of salt, and add some black pepper too for good measure, including what I’m writing.
Now, does pornography addiction exist? Or is the feeling of addiction a symptom of another underlying problem born from loneliness or depression or a myriad of other psychological issues?
Fuck if I know. Looking into it – “I made my research,” as the flat-earthers would say – there’s been a shift in the definition of addiction. While it was mainly substance-based before (drugs and alcohol), it’s now about behaviors more than substance. Gambling, video-games, pornography, they can all trigger a form of addiction. But the debate about porn-addiction is still raging.
Me, I felt addicted, therefore I wanted to kick it and didn’t care if it existed or not. Psychiatrists however would argue the difference should absolutely matter. Because if it’s an addiction, then it’s the behavior you want to overcome. If it isn’t, then there’s an underlying issue making you feel addicted to be solved. Just to complicate it further, pornography addiction can be a real addiction, and you can have underlying issues pushing that addiction further.
Not being an expert, I covered every angle. I took steps to stop watching porn with the use of websites blockers. Picked a password, threw it away, I could only add websites to block, not remove them. Over time, it made my computer unusable for porn. I could still find websites by scrolling down far enough, but that took time, and the time was enough to change my mind.
And I went to see a psychiatrist to explore what underlying issues there may be. I did find a good therapist, of note is how they helped me identify triggers I never would have noticed in a lifetime and how to circumvent these, and had me work on mental health issues I was also suffering from.
If you feel like you suffer from a porn addiction, I’m all for visiting a therapist, doesn’t really matter ultimately if it’s that or a symptom of another problem, because a good therapist will help you work it out either way.
Are there shitty therapists? Hell yes.
Are there okay therapists with which you feel like you’re not getting forward? Yes too.
Are there amazing therapists that help a lot? Also, yes.
I had two that were okay, the third one was the charm.
And if other disorder like depression are present, you will also need therapy, or a new therapist if the last one didn’t pan out.
The other tool I used were websites blockers. Picked a password, threw it away, and I could only add websites to block, not remove them. Over time, it made my computer unusable for porn. I could still find websites by scrolling down far enough, but that took time, and the time was enough to change my mind.
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