Turning into Buddha

I use meditation in a broad sense, it includes everything from stoicism to cardiac coherence. I could have put it in the previous chapters, but it's the only school of methods offering us targeted ways to handle problems like unwanted thoughts, daydreaming about love or overthinking loneliness.

You won’t become an expert in the field, but adding a few simple and time-effective routines to your life can improve how you handle bad feelings – be they due to a lack of love or for other reasons. A good grasp on unwanted thoughts paves the way to peace of mind.

What are unwanted thoughts? Well, let’s look at fantasies born from daydreaming or lying in bed before sleep comes. Do you sometimes start thinking about being in contact with someone? What sort of contact are we talking about?

Sex? There’s a chapter about it later.

Fantasizing about relationships with someone? Now that might cause problems. Mainly because we're trying to get over romantic love, and dreaming about it has something of an opposite effect.

What I'm getting down to is this: reflect upon what exactly you're fantasizing about, which parts are bothersome and which ones aren't.

I struggled with not making up ludicrous scenarios with the people I befriended. A nice word and a smile were enough to make me think about cuddling them for a day. Regular use of meditation methods helped me to let go of the cuddling and hand-holding fantasies, until I could see people for what they are: good friends, fun folks, but all of it platonic where I am concerned. Over time, the daydreaming stopped as I could nip it in the bud, and my mind became more serene.

It's when your brain circles the same bad idea over and over that we need to intervene, and meditation provides the toolbox.

It might seem strange to have a chapter about handling thoughts of love when everything so far has been about staying busy to think about something else. But while staying occupied helps to think less about the bothersome stuff as opposed to being idle, it won’t always erase it entirely. If we can’t stop the last unwanted thoughts from cropping up, we can handle them as they come.

I will summarily present a couple methods, the books linked will give you broader explanations and possibilities. As always, books aren’t expensive, they are plenty, but you’ll have to choose. I heavily encourage you to buy one or two and to delve into them, you might stumble upon a gem of a method that does wonders for you.